Moving On Without Losing Yourself.

You don’t need to be in a relationship to get your heart broken, just ask Patrick.

By the way, this story isn’t about me. It is about a friend’s friend.

Whoever coined the word “Heartbreak” deserves a big hug. I hope the person later experienced love before departing this cold world. I can’t help but imagine the emotional emptiness he/she must have felt to create such an expression. Heart. Break. Two seemingly distant words joined together. 

It takes a kind of profound pain to truly understand what it feels like for the heart to be broken. I’m pretty sure the person’s heart stopped for a few seconds, thus, the realisation of the feeling of “Heartbreak”. 

The same thing Patrick felt some months back. But his case was unique. He had no girl, so why the heartbreak?

You know that moment when you like someone and the person likes you back, but you guys are not dating? There have been discussions on the matter, but one excuse or another hinders the possibility of dating, till eventually you decide to stay friends. A situationship, a failed talking stage, or whatever you might tag it.

Months turned into a year, everyone moved on, but not Patrick. He still had some feelings. Such a lover boy. And that inability to let go cost him his happiness.

He discovered that his girl crush was in a relationship, and that broke him. It was at this point that he knew he still liked the girl and wished they had given each other a chance. But I guess it’s what it is.

To make matters worse, another old crush he was starting to admire had a man by the side, and he could feel his heart shattering away. Painful, but funny. Feeling heartbroken outside a relationship is just not it. It’s too one-sided. 

That’s the reality out there. There are so many Patricks who find it difficult to let go of previous feelings and attachments, and that prevents them from experiencing genuine love. Like Patrick, you can’t move on, and you assume that your happiness is tied to people who were never really yours in the first place.

Guess what, it’s not. Your happiness isn’t tied to anyone but yourself. Love is an amazing experience, and you owe it to yourself to do it with the right person. The person you want, and who also wants you. You suffer life’s cruelty every day, you should also enjoy some “I love you” every day. 

Go become friends with that boy. Get closer to that girl. Don’t be afraid to move on from past and failed relationships. Ignite the romance in that relationship. Show that person how much you’re in love. Don’t let a no from one person discourage you from experiencing love from another. In the end, that warmth from our partners might just be the spark we need to be ourselves and evolve to be better.

Patrick has moved on, but I’m afraid. He edited all his contacts that had those sweet emojis. He no longer uses the love emoji or any romantic emojis when chatting. He sometimes talks about being a Priest and going the Pauline way. I think his definition of moving on is otherwise. I hope my friend’s friend will be alright.

I believe Patrick’s priest talk is probably a healing phase, but one thing is certain: love finds those who are open to it.